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Do you change aspects of your fantasy wife that don’t match who your real wife is? I would add to this: Masturbating to fantasies of your wife, while preferable to other images, also trains your body and mind to be more me-centered in your sexuality.
For Weiss, the issue of married men masturbating is about honesty.
Does your wife know you do it and does she approve?
But we also shouldn’t let conversation about so-called “exceptions” (even if we think they are legitimate) make us over overlook the overarching biblical principles that should inform our attitudes.
Ideally, fantasizing about your wife—a good thing—should be something that propels you towards intimacy with her, to where sex can be a consummation of love and self-giving.